[This entry originally appeared on Clare Lynch’s blog, goodcopybadcopy]
You! Yes, you! You want a celebrity body, don’t you?
Look at that gorgeous girl above – isn’t that a body that screams POWER!!
What’s that? You’re over 55? Oh, I’m sorry, we’ve got a different leaflet for you. Here, take this one:
Yes, yes, I know most women under the age of 30 would kill for Helen Mirren’s abs, but this leaflet’s much more suited to someone open quotes young at heart close quotes.
We really want you to know that we’re prepared to embrace you into our community. Especially someone as ladylike/gentlemanly as you.
Look, we’ve even gone so far as to crack open the big friendly hand-writing font from our folder marked “patronising community engagement ideas”.
See that old girl on the front – it changed her life (what little she’s got left of it, of course).
Not convinced? Read on:
Social interaction – imagine that! After all, being an unfit old crone really chips away at your confidence, doesn’t it? Especially when all your friends have died!
There’s more! In fact, it deserves another friendly font and lots of exclamation marks!!!
Everything all right, dear? I SAID, EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT DEAR?
WHAT’S THAT? HELEN MIRREN, YOU SAY? YES, SHE’S A NICE YOUNG LADY, ISN’T SHE?